How do you correct really old bad behavior in someone else?

When we were first married, my wife and I were extremely poor and hungry.  I actually re-entered military service (which I despised) in order to support us.  However, being the irresponsible alcoholic I was, things still didn't go too well and she became the controller of the money.  I stopped drinking five years into the marriage when I was twenty six.  Now we've been married twenty three years and she's kept the same attitude toward me as when I was drinking.  I've said, "You treat cancer with radical methods but when the cancer is gone, the treatment should stop or the patient will die anyway".  She's addicted  to the control, spends money on many things we don't need.  Our house is packed with novelties, silverware and plate sets, all manner of wine and champagne glasses, clothes and shoes that have never been worn.  I can't seem to get through to her that our money could go to better use, like savings and investments, or even just more for vacations.  I've always been the sole breadwinner but I've always been treated like a child with my own money.  I'm tired of it and I'm going to change it, one way or the other.